Two young boys play outside next to a pink inflatable pool. Amid fatherhood challenges and ego, one boy in a green shirt reaches toward the water while the other, in a navy shirt, laughs with excitement. Trees and parked cars fill the background.

Sometimes you just can’t win some fatherhood challenges

by | May 23, 2023 | 0 comments

Fatherhood is ego-bruising work. Isn’t it weird? I KNOW that I’m an expert but my kids make me FEEL like a complete novice.

You manage a team at work. You exceed expectations. But this morning, you could barely manage to get the kids to school on time.

The kids I counseled in my private practice told me that I was easy to talk to. But the feedback from my own kids wasn’t so rosy.

One day I would hear, “don’t therapize me!” when I was about to give them feedback. Another day, “Don’t just uh-huh me. You’re this great therapist! Tell me what to do.”

I was just working hard to listen!

I couldn’t win.

Fatherhood delivers one blow after another to your ego. It can be rough.

Disoriented dads ask me, “When does this phase end?”

My short answer: move your goalposts.

If you are doing it right, parenting SHOULD be disorienting sometimes. If your ego needs more atta-boys, go master a hobby or find a team sport.

Fatherhood is a constant learning journey.

Encountering new, bigger challenges is a mark of your success, not failure.

photo credit: Ashton Bingham/Unsplash

About Robert Zeitlin

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