Fatherhood is ego-bruising work. Isn’t it weird? I KNOW that I’m an expert but my kids make me FEEL like a complete novice. You manage a team at work. You exceed expectations. But this morning, you could barely manage to get the kids to school on time. The kids I...
“Why didn’t you honk at him?!” my wife Betsy demands, exasperated and angry with the driver who just cut us off. She would have laid on the horn but I swerved instead. Betsy’s question immediately triggers shame. Real men fight for their space. We are supposed to...
“You’re a Momma’s Boy!” Oh, the things we say! Why do we tell boys not to cry, not to show emotions or weakness? Are we trying to protect them? From what? One answer: a harsh world, a dog-eat-dog world. We are training Spartans who can “win the fight.” One of the...
No one listens to me. I give up. I'm tired of trying to tell you how I feel. You don't care what makes me sad, worried, or frustrated. These were the messages I learned growing up. They still dictate how I function most of the time. For instance, we spend a huge chunk...
I'm sorry. The most powerful two-word phrase in the English language …and every language: I'm sorry. Why is it so powerful to hear “I'm sorry”? Because “I'm sorry” can repair the hurt that I caused you. A true apology can rebuild and strengthen our relationship. Why...
I’m not OK. I just can’t tell you that. If you ask someone, “Are you OK?” you can break the cycle of “I’m fine.” From having worked with men and boys for over two decades, I see the pressure on people socialized as men to keep moving and not slow down. Life feels like...
Time is a vanishing asset. You can spend it, waste it, or give it. I am learning how to take it. I take time to heal, to rest, and to replenish. I seek to become Time Wealthy. My path to treat time differently began with learning to meditate. Everyone talks about...
I hate running late. I am already stressed out when I get to the train station. When I reach the bottom of the stairs, I see the last train pulling away from the station. On reflex, I start running and break into a full sprint. My adrenaline pumps my heartbeat into my...
My esteemed professor Maurice Prout taught me to ask three questions when I found myself hesitant to take action: What's the real risk? What's the real chance of that risk happening? If it did happen, could you take the hit? Until I tease apart these external and...
I am nice. I wasn't raised with great boundaries, so I lean toward niceness out of an instinct for survival. I find it easier to put my needs last and take care of someone else's needs first. When I was young, I was confused by my family, particularly my father. So I...
I'm sorry. The most powerful two-word phrase in the English language …and every language: I'm sorry. Why is it so powerful to hear “I'm sorry”? Because “I'm sorry” can repair the hurt that I caused you. A true apology can rebuild and strengthen our relationship. Why...
“Fellas, you HAVE to cry. If you don’t cry, you’re gonna kill somebody!” - comedian Nore Davis What can you do if you don’t know what you are feeling? What if you can’t even label them? Don’t laugh. I have been that guy. I was flying to Montreal to break up with my...